I just gave Claude a bath, with lavender oil in wee drops. There’s a great struggle to clean beneath the neck, in the folds of the skin. Then a long period of screams, tedious attempts at soothing, pacing, rocking; eventually a stray burp and a dose of aimless singing gets him to sleep, “nice sleep” as we call it sometimes. In our ordinary life it always feels like we’re out of time, rushing, cramming; coupled to much idleness, long hours of baby care, braindead Facebook checking, time spent watching TV. Being fully present all the time would just be so draining; sometimes it’s hard to feel present at all.
In the early days of having a child, we were largely overwhelmed, nearly broke, and perpetually stuck in our house. As adorable as babies are, it was a hard time.